But, what do you do when television has always been a huge part of your life?  Maybe you’ve always had it on as you are preparing for work in the mornings, or at night as you are winding down after work.  Now you have a small child in your house and you’re not supposed to watch TV.  What do you do?

Here is the briefest list of ideas that will hopefully get you thinking of more and playing with that fantastically fun young one that only wants to play with you:

• Color
• Work puzzles
• Read (or just talk about the pictures in) books- lots of them!
• Go for a walk
• Have a dance party in your living room
• Roll a ball back and forth in the house
• Throw a ball back and forth out of the house
• “Cook” with pots, pans, spoons, spatulas, etc.
• Explore with water outside or in the bath tub: splash, “paint” with the water and a paint brush, practice pouring water from one cup to another
• Have your child help you around the house (fold wash cloths, wipe off table tops, put things away, etc.)
• Make a tunnel/ car/ train/ rocket ship/ castle out of a box

The most important thing is to follow your child’s lead and just be with them- present: in mind, body, and spirit.  While you’re at it, see just how much fun you can have with your little one.  Eventually, you will begin to not even miss that show on television because you are living in your own reality show.  And, who doesn’t love that?

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

Car Trips:

• Have a very flexible schedule without deadlines.  This gives the adults freedom to relax and take as many breaks as the kids need.  Try to find a place to stop with a playground, small stream, grassy area, etc. for the kids to get some energy out.  The more they run and play out of the car, the less squirmy they will be in the car- this makes EVERYONE happy!
• Take lots of snack choices, but only offer 2-3 at a time.  Save some for later.  Also, if you can find some new snacks they haven’t had before, get those.  New things are always fun and interesting.
• Take LOTS of activities:  bring books, crayons and paper, DIY activities like felt faces, sensory bottles with the top GLUED on, paper bags for making puppets with the crayons, etc.  There are ideas all over the internet.
• Talk about what you see out the windows, sing songs, make up songs, and relax- you are on your way to having a great time!

Plane Rides:

• If you are traveling with a partner, have 1 of you board the plane first- without the kids!  The person boarding the plane gets all the stuff ready for lots of entertaining.  Puts carry-ons in the overheads, puts drinks in the seatback pockets, the activity bag under the seat, etc.  The person staying back with the kid(s) has them wiggle, jump, shake, squirm—whatever it takes to burn up some energy BEFORE boarding the plane.  The longer they spend in the airport, the less time they have to be sitting in the seat= the less time they have to be squirmy.  The gate agents will question you- let them know you will be boarding last to prevent any undesired behaviors.
• If you are traveling alone, you’ll probably need to be first (when they call for families traveling with small children) in order to give yourself more space to get settled while keeping your kid(s) in check.  If you are one of the first to board, wait until the very last minute to make your child sit in the seat with seatbelt on.  Let them wiggle and squirm in front of their seat as long as possible.
• Show them the seat belt light and explain when the light is on everyone stays seated and belted.  No one can get up until the light goes off and we hear the “beep”.  If they ask to get up, point to the light and remind them of the airplane rule.  If the light is off, and you are allowed to move about the cabin, then do it!  Walk up and down the aisle, talk with the flight attendants (if they are not busy or cranky), wash hands in the bathroom (planes are DIRTY- the more everyone washes hands, the less likely you’ll be to take home a sick kid).
• Take lots of snacks and activities.  Same ideas apply on the plane as in the car.
• Talk, talk, talk about anything you see, sing, play, and relax.  You are going on vacation!!!

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

And a cheap, sliding scale film showing on Saturday, March 16th:

It’s harder to see this inability in their development.  If a child has learned how to walk and is feeling fairly confident in that skill, he may try to start learning or improving upon a new skill- such as talking.  Because children can’t multi-task and they place so much focus on new skills, the old skills may stop developing or may even regress a bit.  There is no need to worry about this, it happens to almost every child at some point in their development.  If you are concerned, it is important to discuss your concerns with your child’s teacher or pediatrician.

However, even though it’s perfectly normal for development to stop or go backwards, we can still support them in their new skill with the knowledge that the “old” skill will come back once the new skill is mastered.  In keeping with the previous example, if your child no longer wants to walk (because she’s focused on talking, remember), encourage her anyway.  Give her choices.  In this example, you could say, “Do you want to walk inside or outside?”  Then, strongly encourage (but don’t force) her to walk where she has chosen.  Make sure you carry her in the opposite place- she wants to walk outside, make sure she can trust you by carrying her inside.

A caring and trusting relationship with adults is the most important thing in a child’s development!  Do all you can to build that trust so your child feels your love and can focus on the next skill to be mastered.

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

Think about this, when you say, “Don’t run”, your child hears the word “run” before they hear the word “don’t”.  So, what do they do?  They run- and it’s usually away from you, right?  What can you say instead to ensure your child will hear what you want her to hear?  You could say:

• Walk please.
• Walk inside.
• Use your walking feet.

Try it out tonight.  If your kid keeps blowing bubbles in his milk, as tempting as it is to say “Stop blowing bubbles in your milk.” for the hundredth time, try something different.  You could say:

• Milk is for drinking.
• Drink your milk.
• You may drink your milk, or put it on the table.

For older children, it’s also important to give them the reason why they can’t do something.  Without the reasoning, they may not understand the rule.  For example, “Stop jumping on the bed!”  In a child’s mind, they think, “Why?  It’s fun, so I’m going to keep doing it.”  But, if you say, “Beds are for sleeping.  If you jump, you could fall off and get hurt.”  This is a great opportunity to tell a personal story about the time you/ your sibling/ friend was jumping on the bed, fell off, and broke your arm.  The best part about a personal story is that it distracts your child from the current activity you are hoping to stop.  After you tell your story, they ask you a million questions about it, the two of you can move on to something more appropriate.  Ask your child, “It’s almost time for dinner, would you like to set the table or pour the milk?”  Your child just stopped jumping on the bed.

Is this style of correcting behavior a miracle?  No.  You will have to repeat yourself– a lot!  But, they will almost always stop for the moment, only to try again later to see if the same rule applies.  Just remember to stay consistent!  They will eventually stop putting their feet on the dinner table- WHEW, thank goodness for that!!!

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

So, how does a parent stay on the “healthy” side of that line?  By having the important adults in a child’s life expose them to as many interests as possible.  And that’s the key word- expose.  Mom might work on her scrap book in front of her child, dad might take the child outside to play football, grandma can cook with her grandchild, and uncle can read favorite comic books, and so on.

Especially when children are younger (and it’s still fun to spend time with parents), take them to the mountains in the summer and winter, take them to the stock show, work on the car in the garage; do your interests in front of them- inviting them to join in if they’d like.  By doing all of these things with your child from the beginning, you are exposing them to many different interests that are important to the adults in your child’s life.

It is through this exposure that children find what fun means to them.  If you love to knit, and your child is watching you do that, ask him if he wants to knit too.  If he says he does, give him some knitting needles and yarn and show him the basic steps.  If he says he doesn’t, let him know that is alright and if he ever changes his mind to let you know.

Forcing a child to have your interests causes children to feel their interests aren’t good enough because they are not your interests.  In addition, forcing children to do what you like will eventually backfire and they will (most often) resent that activity and (possibly) you for making them do something they don’t find enjoyable.  In the end, no one will have as much fun as was anticipated and everyone will wind up disappointed.

All you have to do is expose your child to your interests and find the common interest you both share.  That is where the real fun happens.

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

But, the real challenges are speaking up for your child when it’s necessary because no one knows a child better than the parent(s).  This is especially hard when dealing with professionals such as doctors, therapists, teachers, etc.  Most parents feel that these people are the experts- they know everything about their particular profession.  While this is true, it is also true that every child is different.  These professionals, and others like them, know the generalities of their field of work.  They don’t know the specifics of your child or your family.  Only the child’s parents know those things.

For example, a mom knows that her child’s lips turn bright pink when she’s sleepy.  A dad knows that his son is more focused when mom isn’t around.  A mom knows when her child is cranky because of teething or being tired.  Parents also know what is right for their child- in their gut, they know.

When dealing with professionals, remember that they know the overall big picture of information about children.  What they don’t know are the details of your child.  If you have concerns, meet with a professional for her opinion, listen, ask questions, ask more questions.  Most importantly- listen to your gut.  The feelings parents have are more often, than not, correct.  If what you are hearing doesn’t feel right, get another opinion from another professional and do the same thing- listen, ask questions and more questions, then listen to your own feelings.

At the end of the day if you don’t speak up for your child, who will?  Sometimes, you may have to speak up more than once to more than one person.  But, keep speaking because you know your child like no one else.

If you ever need support in dealing with professionals, please check with your CFA, who can support you in this, or put you in touch with our disabilities coordinator, mental health consultants, health and nutrition advocate, etc.

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

Imagine this scenario that everyone has seen at some point in their lives: A group of children is on a playground with an adult nearby. The children are playing on the slide, the ladders, the swings, etc. They might be playing chase, or some other imaginative game. Everyone is happy and active. The adult is watching from the sidelines ensuring everyone is remaining safe.

Now, imagine this scenario with an adult that is actively engaged with those same children on the same playground. She can take the opportunity to discuss so many learning concepts. Here are a few examples:

• Having the children touch the metal of the equipment to discuss its temperature (cold vs. hot/ warm). A follow-up discussion could occur in the afternoon to discuss how the metal railings were cold that morning and warm in the afternoon after the sun had been shining all day.

• Assisting the children in sliding different objects down the slide and discussing why some items slide quickly (balls) and others are slower (clothing, such as jackets).

• A wealth of observations and discussions on the weather- windy, sunny, cloudy, snowy, cool, etc. and what causes the weather to be this way. For example, it’s a cool day because the clouds have covered the sun. A completely different conversation could occur every day, depending upon the weather.

• If children are playing an imaginative game where they are pirates trying to save their ship from the “bad guys”, she can ask questions regarding their strategies, offer other ideas, have the children work with each other to talk to the “bad guys” letting them know it’s not nice to take what doesn’t belong to them.

In one hour of “playing” on the playground, the children just learned about weather and temperatures, gravity, and conflict resolution. Now, that sounds like a fun day with a fun adult!

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

So, what do we do for our children?  We name what we believe they are feeling.  You know when your kid is bouncing off the walls because he gets to go play at the park?  But, you’re not quite ready to leave yet?  You can get down on his eye level, and tell him in a gentle voice, “I know you are really excited to go play at the park.  I am, too.  But, I’m not quite ready yet.  We will go after I get some snacks and water for us.  Would you like to help me get our things together?”  Giving your child concrete timeframes in ways that make sense to him (30 minutes might feel like 30 years to some children) and something to do until you’re ready will make the wait (and his level of excitement) more manageable for everyone.

What about if your child is really angry?  Again, at her eye level, tell her in a gentle voice, “I know you are really mad.  But, yelling hurts my ears.  Tell me why you are upset.”  If your child is able to express her anger, address it.  If she tells you she’s mad because you won’t let her play outside, tell her why she can’t go outside right now, and offer suggestions for what she can do instead.  If your child is unable to express why she’s mad, try to help her figure it out.  “I can see you are very mad because you want to go outside.  But, it’s raining.  We can go out later when the rain stops.  Right now, would you like to dance to music?”

What if you don’t know why your child is upset?  Be honest with him.  Say, “I see you are upset, but I don’t know why.  I really wish I could help you feel better.”  Then, give your child the space or love that they need.  Some kids want to be held until they are able to calm themselves down; others need to be left alone.  If that is your child, tell him, “It looks like you want to be left alone.  You can come back to me when you are ready.”  Then, stay nearby where you can see him, but give him the space he needs.

When your child is expressing strong feelings- either feelings of joy or not- be honest and validate the feeling.  You’ll be amazed at how quickly the outburst will subside when you offer some true validation to your child.

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.

Practical Life Exercises teach children the correct way to conduct daily routines of everyday life.  For example, showing children the correct way to water plants ensures that they water them using the right amount of water without flooding the container.  This work also teaches children that plants are something we need, and therefore, we need to care for them.

In addition, Practical Life Work gives children the opportunity to contribute to their immediate world- their classroom or home.  These contributions help children gain huge amounts of self-pride in what they are able to accomplish.  Watch your child as she sweeps the floor of the classroom- the look of pride on her face will turn any disbeliever into an advocate regarding the importance of Practical Life for even the youngest of children.

In order to make Practical Life meaningful to children, they must understand the importance of the activity.  To continue with the above example of watering and caring for plants, the adult should tell the child, “It is time to water the plant so that it can stay healthy and clean our air.”  The adult can, then show the child how much water to use, how to pour the water around the base of the plant, and how to wipe the dust from the leaves.  Once the child sees how it is done, she can then take over that responsibility with adult support as needed.

Want to experiment with Practical Life Exercises at home?  It’s easy.  While you’re cleaning the kitchen counters, give a cloth wet with water to your child and show him how to wipe the smudges off the refrigerator/ dishwasher/ cabinets (you know you’ve got some somewhere, we all do!)  Do your floors need sweeping?  Remove a few links from your Swiffer pole, or shorten the end of the broom.  Try designating a low cabinet to hold your child’s dishes.  That way she can get her own plates, bowl, and glass in preparation for meals, and help put clean dishes away (and learn all sort of skills such as sorting and categorizing meal items).  If you are feeling really brave, fill a small tub with soapy water and a small tub with clean water and let him wash his dishes after meals.

Just remember these two keys to successful Practical Life so that your child will see this work as an exciting contribution to your family and not as a boring chore (we all remember being young teens and having to put our clothes away and it was SO BORING):  1)  Discuss the importance of the work to your child, and 2)  Show him the correct way to do it.  If you really want to have fun, do some Practical Life right along side her!

Rebecca Wilson, MS, is mother to Emogene (IC7) and is an enthusiast for all things related to young children.  She earned her Bachelors Degree in Child Development and her Masters Degree in Early Childhood Education both from the University of Tennessee at Knoxville.  She has worked with children of all ages from birth through 3rd grade in different positions from teaching to administration to consulting.  Currently, she is a grant manager for the early childhood council in Adams County.